


Four Times Kurt was a Groomzilla (And One Time Blaine Was)

by etextraordinary



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, klaine mini wedding bang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-11
Updated: 2013-05-11
Packaged: 2017-12-11 13:31:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/799279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etextraordinary/pseuds/etextraordinary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thank you to Crystalchances for the awesome prompt that was fun and hilarious to write.  I hope you like it.  Huge thanks to Lauren (redpantsandyellowsunglasses) for being my cheerleader, providing me with the headcanon for Kurt and Blaine’s first dance song (because it is perfect is so very many ways) and for betaing, making my weird German-English grammar into something readable.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Four Times Kurt was a Groomzilla (And One Time Blaine Was)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Crystalchances for the awesome prompt that was fun and hilarious to write. I hope you like it. Huge thanks to Lauren (redpantsandyellowsunglasses) for being my cheerleader, providing me with the headcanon for Kurt and Blaine’s first dance song (because it is perfect is so very many ways) and for betaing, making my weird German-English grammar into something readable.

 

1.  
The first time Kurt was a groomzilla was technically before he was even a ‘groom-to-be’. Kurt was talking to Rachel on the phone when she said, “Wait, didn’t Blaine already propose like two years ago?”

Kurt sighed, switching his phone to the other hand, “Yeah, he did. But we never were really engaged then. I want to propose to him now that we’re actually planning our wedding.”

“Right, but didn’t Blaine propose like a month ago when you started planning the wedding?”

“No, not really.” Kurt remembered it as if it was yesterday. _They were cuddling on the couch, Blaine watching basketball with his head resting in Kurt’s lap, while he read Vogue. Blaine shifted and looked up at Kurt. Kurt smiled back at him. Blaine stared for a long minute, until Kurt said, ‘What?’ Blaine admitted, ‘We should get married.’ Kurt ran his fingers through Blaine’s hair, ‘Yeah, we will.’ Blaine frowned, ‘No, I mean we should like plan a wedding. I want to be your husband.’ Kurt couldn’t just listen to Blaine saying these things without acting on them; so he did the only logical thing: pulled Blaine up to kiss him senseless before dragging him to their bedroom and fucking him._

“How die he ‘not really’ propose? Isn’t it kinda by definition a proposal or not a proposal?” Rachel asked. Kurt was sure she was purposefully being obtuse.

“Well, he proposed back at McKinley. Despite the romance of it, honestly neither of us was ready. Then Blaine just said ‘we should get married’ and that was that. So, not really. I want to do it right, Rachel. I want it to be a big grand moment, get down on one knee, both of us crying, the perfect memorable moment.”

“So take him out to a romantic dinner, slip the ring into his dessert, then propose.”

Kurt scoffed, “Rachel, do I really seem like the food proposal type?”

“Fine,” Rachel didn’t even attempt to mask her exasperation with him, “So surprise him at home. Light a ton of candles, spread flower petals all over the floor and surprise him by being on one knee when he gets home.”

“But its not original, its been done thousands of time before. It has to be something that is uniquely us.”

“So just propose to him in bed. I mean that is where you two spend the most time.”

“Ha. Ha. Very funny. If you think you’re going to be my best woman, you are sorely mistaken.”

“Oh, Kurt. I gotta run, rehearsal is starting. Good luck. Muah.” Kurt could hear the click on the other end of the line.

“Bye, Rach.” Kurt said to the phone as he ended the call. She may be a pain in the ass, but she just solved Kurt’s problem. The proposal would be memorable, because Kurt was going to make it uniquely KurtandBlaine.

It ended up being simpler than Kurt intended. They were walking home from their favorite brunch place when the little florist on the corner had a beautiful bouquet of tulips. Blaine stopped to admire them, while Kurt stealthfully purchased them from the vendor. Kurt hid them behind his back and, when Blaine turned around, he was down on one knee. Blaine laughed and said of course. It was only later that night when Blaine mentioned that this was their third proposal, Kurt could only laugh and respond, “Third time’s the charm.”

2.  
Blaine came home from a long day of teaching and tech week rehearsals for this year’s musical, West Side Story. Kurt had teased him when he was deciding between musicals because the choices were all musicals where Blaine played the lead in high school and in college. Blaine toed off his shoes and tossed his messenger bag on the floor next to them. He could hear Kurt’s sewing machine whirring. He walked back into Kurt’s ‘sewing sanctuary,’ leaning on the doorframe of the converted closet. Kurt had his headphones in, pushing the black fabric through the machine at an alarmingly quick rate.

“Fuck. God damn it. Fucking silk. Worst fucking fabric ever.” Kurt shouted, then, “Shit, ow.”

Blaine looked to make sure Kurt’s fingers weren’t anywhere near the needle before gently touching his shoulder. Kurt jumped in his chair and pulled the piece of the suit he was working on out of the machine.

Blaine shrunk back, regretting his decision to stop Kurt. “I’m sorry,” he said, as Kurt inspected the damage to the piece.

Kurt put the section down, sighing, “Don’t worry about it, it was ruined anyway. Silk lapels were a bad idea.”

Blaine looked at Kurt with a curious expression; Kurt had been set on having just the pop of silk against a shiny cotton suit. “What do you mean, ‘ruined?’”

“The silk keeps puckering and refuses to go on flat, so it looks crappy and handmade. Which is of course the exact look we were going for with our only wedding suits. I always think ‘do it yourself’ wedding outfits is a classy look, don’t you?”

Blaine wasn’t exactly sure where this was coming from, but he did know he needed to calm Kurt down before he went Groomzilla on the suits. “Didn’t you say you needed to get a new flat-bottom or something?”

Kurt looked at Blaine curiously and then started laughing. Blaine just watched as Kurt gasped for air while clutching his sides. Kurt’s laughter was contagious, even though he had no idea what was so funny. Eventually Kurt calmed down enough to respond, “But I thought you liked my perky ass?”

Blaine was the one to start laughing uncontrollably this time. Kurt chuckled too, cleaning up his supplies for the evening. Once Blaine’s breathing was back to a semblance of normal, Kurt said, “It was a new flat-bottom presser foot. It helps sew silk.”

“Right. That. Didn’t you say that sewing it with tissue paper helps?”

“Yeah, it does.” Kurt looked down at his supplies, putting the thread in the box and putting the ruined lapel in the scrap pile.

“So why haven’t you done that?” Blaine knew he was treading on dangerous territory, but he genuinely was curious.

“I wanted to do it without it. It felt like cheating to do it that way.”

“Would anyone know?”

“No.” Kurt looked slightly sheepish as he put the cover on his machine.

Blaine pulled Kurt up into his arms, wrapping him in a tight hug. He whispered in Kurt’s ear, “So try that, or we can just go buy suits.”

Kurt pulled back to look at Blaine’s face, eyes wide with a shocked expression, “Blaine Anderson! I am not marrying you in a factory-produced cookie-cutter suit. If we are getting married, we are doing it in hand sewn suits.”

Blaine pulled him back to kiss his cheek. “Then we will be married in the most fabulous Kurt Hummel original suits.”

Blaine kissed him, and Kurt smiled. “I’ll go get tissue paper and a new flat-bottom tomorrow.”

Blaine smiled, grabbing Kurt’s ass, “Just don’t lose your perky ass, it’s one of my favorite parts of you.”

3.  
“Absolutely not, Dad. No way. I rescind your invitation. You are not wearing a Hummel Tires and Lube hat to my wedding. No.” Kurt shouted at his father over the phone. He sighed, “Put Carole on. Please?”

“Hi Carole. Can you please explain to my father why wearing a beat up tire shop hat at my wedding is inappropriate?”

Blaine couldn’t hear what she was saying, but, judging by the way Kurt was pacing around the apartment, it wasn’t going well.

“Well, what are you wearing?” Kurt stopped pacing, that was not a good sign. Blaine got up off the couch and went to stand behind his fiancé. “No, no. You are not wearing a pant suit to my wedding.”

Kurt was silent for a minute; Blaine could see the steam building. Kurt was about 10 seconds away from exploding. Blaine needed to do something to put out the fire before it got too bad. “Yes, I know that lots of Dad’s colleagues wear pant suits to work, but you’re not going to Congress, you are coming to your step son’s wedding.”

Blaine reached out to rub his hand in circles on Kurt’s back, hoping to distract him. It didn’t work. Kurt muttered under his breath, “I know you don’t see the difference.”

“Carole, can you please pack your nicest dress and have Dad pack one of his black suits with a colored shirt and I will work out the details from what Blaine and I have here. Okay?”

Blaine could see that Kurt was working up into a full rage, voice calm on the phone only to prevent more of a fight with Carole and Burt. “Thank you. I’ll see you on Tuesday. Tell Dad I love him.” Kurt’s voice was pinched tight, “I love you too, Carole. Bye.”

Kurt hung up the phone and turned around to face Blaine. “I can’t believe what my family thinks is appropriate wedding attire! My father wants to wear a Hummel Tires and Lube hat and Carole wants to wear a pantsuit. I don’t even want to know what Finn would want to wear if he weren’t a groomsman. Please tell me your parents know what is acceptable wedding wear.”

“Well, Mom mentioned that she wanted to wear the muumuu she got last winter in Hawaii and Dad was thinking about wearing his powder blue tux from high school prom, which I think is about two sizes too small now, but still in surprisingly good condition.”

Kurt’s eyes got wide and frightening. Blaine rushed, “I’m kidding, Mom has a beige lace dress and Dad is wearing his black tux.”

“Blaine Devon Anderson, how dare you joke about something as serious as what your parents are wearing to our wedding? Do you not understand the gravity of the situation? They will be walking us down the aisle and everyone will be looking at them!”

“Actually, I think everyone is going to be looking at us, in our fabulous hand-sewn tuxes, not what our parents are wearing.”

Kurt looked appalled at what Blaine was saying. “I can’t believe you right now. I can’t be around you like this.”

Kurt made to walk away, but Blaine’s hand on his stopped him. “Kurt, stop. Breathe.”

Kurt glared at him, “Don’t tell me to calm down. This is serious. I won’t have you making fun of me right now.”

“I’m sorry.” Blaine kissed Kurt gently, “I was just trying to make you laugh. I didn’t mean to upset you. I get it. I don’t want our families to look ridiculous either. But I know you will make them look great, and Burt and Carole have some great pieces that you helped them get or made for them in their closets. Just email them tomorrow and tell them what to bring, then you can accessorize once they are in the city.”

“Blaine…” Kurt started, but Blaine cut him off with a kiss. Blaine kept kissing him as he worked the buttons of Kurt’s shirt, pushing it off his shoulders and letting it fall on the floor.

“If you think you are going to distract me with sex, it’s working.” Kurt smiled into Blaine’s kiss.

Blaine pulled back slightly, “Good,” he said before dropping to his knees and unbuttoning Kurt’s jeans.

4.  
“No, Blaine. Nuh huh. No way.”

“Why not? _Teenage Dream_ is the perfect first dance song.”

“I am not dancing to Katy Perry at my wedding. I only get one first dance, and that is not going to be it.”

Blaine scooted closer to Kurt on the couch, resting his head on Kurt’s shoulder, looking up at him with big eyes, “But it was the first song I ever sang to you.”

“Yes, it was the first song you ever sang to me,” Blaine looked at Kurt with a glimmer of hope in his eyes, “But we are still not dancing to it at the wedding.”

“Fine, it won’t be our first dance, but if someone requests it, will you dance with me?”

Kurt sighed, “I’ll consider it.” Kurt looked thoughtfully at the floor for a second before adding, “What about _Blackbird_?”

Blaine looked up, confused, before the memory came back to him, “No. We are not dancing to the song you dedicated to Pav, rest in peace.”

Kurt’s laughter breaks through, loud in the quiet room, joined quickly by Blaine’s. Kurt kissed Blaine on the cheek before leaning forward to grab his computer off the coffee table.

“What are you doing?”

“Googling the most popular first dance songs, maybe it will inspire us.”

Blaine smiled. Kurt clicked on the first page and as soon as he saw it. Blaine knew he had to say it, “Kurt! We should dance to _Because You Loved Me_ by Celine Dion. It’s perfect.”

Kurt glared at Blaine without ever looking up from his laptop.

Blaine started singing:

_You were my strength when I was weak,_  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak,  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me.  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me 

Kurt looked up, “Blaine Devon Anderson. I will not marry you if you continue singing that song!”

Blaine looked down, sheepish, not anticipating Kurt’s change in mood. “It was just a joke.”

“Our first dance song is not something to joke about, it is important, it sets the tone for our entire marriage and life together.”

Blaine scrolled down a little farther on the page, pointing to one, “What about this one?

Kurt turned his nose up and scowled, “Lady in Red? No!”

Blaine was stifling his laughter. Kurt smacked him in the arm and stormed out of the room. Blaine laughed for another minute before grabbing Kurt’s laptop and googling some songs. He finally settled on one he knew Kurt would love.

Blaine put the song on loudly enough to be heard in the bedroom before he knocked softly on the door. He could hear Kurt grumbling about horrible songs behind the door. When Blaine pushed it open, Kurt was sitting on their bed with his box of sheet music on the floor in front of him.

“I’m sorry, Kurt.” Blaine apologized.

Kurt didn’t look up, “That wasn’t funny, you know.”

“I know. But I found the perfect song.” Kurt looked up and Blaine smiled softly. “ _The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face_ , by Roberta Flack.”

A smile appeared at the corners of Kurt’s mouth. Blaine reached out his hand and pulled Kurt up into a hug. Blaine slowly moved with the beat of the song, whispering lyrics in Kurt’s ear. Kurt pulled back, smiling.

“It’s perfect.” Blaine could see the tears in Kurt’s eyes. “Its absolutely perfect.”

Blaine could only smile as he kissed Kurt.

1.  
It was the day before the ceremony. Everything was set. Their suits were perfect, the food was all ordered, everyone finally made it into the city, despite quite a few delays. Everything was going to be perfect.

They had gone to the florist to pick up the flowers for the rehearsal. The shop owner was very excited about the arrangements and insisted on showing them. She led them back into the refrigerator and that’s when Blaine saw them. The roses weren’t red and yellow, they were burgundy and yellow.

“Are these the flowers for our wedding?” Blaine asked.

“Yes,” the florist picked up one of the boutonnieres, “This is what you ordered. Red and yellow roses.”

“These flowers aren’t red, they’re burgundy. Do you know what burgundy and yellow roses mean? Nothing. We ordered red and yellow roses! They have to be red and yellow!”

Kurt put his hand on Blaine’s shoulder, “It’s okay. They look beautiful.”

“No. It is not okay. The first flowers you ever gave me were red and yellow. Traditionally red and yellow flowers mean joy, happiness, and excitement; everything that our wedding means. They have to be red and yellow!”

Kurt gave the shop owner and sympathetic look and shrugged.

“Mr. Anderson, I am sorry about this mistake. I will make sure I use red roses and change the arrangements tonight,” the florist said.

“Thank you.” Blaine was still vibrating with anger and frustration. “Can I see the color of the roses you will use first?”

She led them back into the front of the shop where she had a large bucket of red roses. Blaine nodded and thanked her before Kurt ushered him out of the shop.

As soon as they were outside, Kurt asked, “What was that?”

“They weren’t red. They have to be red, Kurt.” Blaine’s eyes held a pleading expression.

“Okay, they will be.” Kurt said, pressing a kiss to Blaine’s lips. “Now, come on. We’re going to be late to our own rehearsal dinner.”


End file.
